determined to spare no expense in making it a book of reference
superior to anything of the kind previously attempted!" (_As he pauses
fur breath, you will take occasion to observe, that no doubt such a
work, as he contemplates, will be an excellent thing--but that, for
your own part, you can dispense with any information respecting the
Notabilities of Norwood, and, in short, that if he will excuse you_--)

"Pardon me, Mr. LANE," he interrupts, "you mistake my object. I should
not dream of expecting you to _subscribe_ to such a work. But, in
my capacity of compiler, I naturally desire to leave nothing undone
that care and research can effect to render the work complete--and
it would be incomplete indeed, were it to include no reference to
so distinguished a resident as yourself!" ("_Oh, pooh--nonsense!"
You will say at this--but you will sit down again_) "Norwood is a
singularly favoured locality. Sir; its charms have induced many of our
foremost men to select it for their _rus in urbe_. Why, in this very
road--May I ask, by the way, if you are acquainted with Alderman
MINCING? Alderman MINCING has been good enough to furnish me with many
interesting details of his personal career, a photo-gravured portrait
of him will be included, with views of the interior and exterior of
'The Drudgeries,' and a bit from the back-garden." (_You do know_
MINCING--_and you cannot help inwardly wondering at the absurd
vanity of the man_--_a mere nobody, away from the City!_) "Between
ourselves," says your interviewer, candidly, having possibly observed
your expression, "I am by no means sure that I shall feel warranted
in allotting Alderman MINCING as much space as I fear he will consider
himself entitled to. Alderman MINCING, though a highly respectable
man, does _not_ appeal to the popular imagination as others I could
mention do--he is just a _little_ commonplace!" ("_Shrewd follow,
this!" you think to yourself--"Got_ MINCING's _measure!_") "But I