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PREFACE.


Some eighteen months ago I took this brilliant bunch of brain burrs to
my esteemed Publisher and with much enthusiasm invited him to spend a
lot of money thereon.

The Main Stem in the Works informed me that he had his fingers on the
public pulse and just as soon as that pulse began to jump and yell for
something from my fiery pen he would throw the _Silly Syclopedia_
at it.

Then he placed my MS. in the forward turret of his steel-armored safe,
gave me a fairly good cigar and began to look hard in the direction of
the elevator.

Last week, while searching for some missing government bonds, my
Publisher found my sadly neglected MS. He at once reached over and
grabbed the public pulse. To his astonishment it was jumping and making
signs in my direction.

In a frenzied effort to make up for lost time my publisher then yelled
feverishly for a printer.