Everybody knows that I am a poor man; and so much has Lalouette's luck
drained my finances, that only last week I was obliged to give him that
famous gray cob on which you have seen me riding in the Park (I can't
afford a thoroughbred, and hate a cocktail),--I was, I say, forced to
give him up my cob in exchange for four ponies which I owed him. Thus,
as I never walk, being a heavy man whom nobody cares to mount, my time
hangs heavily on my hands; and, as I hate home, or that apology for
it--a bachelor's lodgings--and as I have nothing earthly to do now until
I can afford to purchase another horse, I spend my time in sauntering
from one club to another, passing many rather listless hours in them
before the men come in.

You will say, Why not take to backgammon, or ecarte, or amuse yourself
with a book? Sir (putting out of the question the fact that I do not
play upon credit), I make a point never to play before candles are
lighted; and as for books, I must candidly confess to you I am not a
reading man.

'Twas but the other day that some one recommended me to your Magazine
after dinner, saying it contained an exceedingly witty article upon--I
forget what. I give you my honor, sir, that I took up the work at six,
meaning to amuse myself till seven, when Lord Trumpington's dinner was
to come off, and egad! in two minutes I fell asleep, and never woke till
midnight. Nobody ever thought of looking for me in the library, where
nobody ever goes; and so ravenously hungry was I, that I was obliged to
walk off to Crockford's for supper.

What is it that makes you literary persons so stupid? I have met various
individuals in society who I was told were writers of books, and that
sort of thing, and expecting rather to be amused by their conversation,