Observations by Mr. Dooley
by Finley Peter Dunne




A Little Essay on Books



"Hogan tells me that wan iv th' first things man done afther he'd
larned to kill his neighborin' animals, an' make a meal iv wan
part iv thim an' a vest iv another, was to begin to mannyfacther
lithrachoor, an' it's been goin' on up to th' prisint day. Thim
was times that th' Lord niver heerd about, but is as well known
to manny a la-ad in th' univarsity iv southren Injyanny as if th'
histhry iv thim was printed on a poster. Hogan says a pro-fissor
with a shovel an' a bad bringin'-up can go out annywhere along th'
dhrainage-canal an' prove to ye that th' Bible is no more thin an
exthry avenin' edition iv th' histhry iv th' wurruld, an' th' Noah
fam'ly was considhered new arrivals in th' neighborhood where they
lived. He says he'll show ye th' earth as though 't was a section
iv a layer-cake or an archytect's dhrawin' iv a flat-buildin', an'
p'int out how 't was accumylated.

"First 't was a mere squdge in which ne'er a livin' thing cud be