labour, and disastrous idleness. The dreary aspect of the large and
ill-lighted room--the close-curtained boxes--the unsocial look of every
thing and body about suited the habit of my soul, and I was on the verge
of becoming excessively sentimental--the unbroken silence, where several
people were present, had also its effect upon me, and I felt oppressed
and dejected. So sat I for an hour; the clock over the mantel ticked
sharply on--the old man in the brown surtout had turned in his chair,
and now snored louder--the gentleman who read the Times had got the
Chronicle, and I thought I saw him nodding over the advertisements.
The father who, with a raw son of about nineteen, had dined at six,
sat still and motionless opposite his offspring, and only breaking the
silence around by the grating of the decanter as he posted it across the
table. The only thing denoting active existence was a little, shrivelled
man, who, with spectacles on his forehead, and hotel slippers on his
feet, rapidly walked up and down, occasionally stopping at his table to
sip a little weak-looking negus, which was his moderate potation for two
hours. I have been particular in chronicling these few and apparently
trivial circumstances, for by what mere trifles are our greatest and
most important movements induced--had the near wheeler of the Umpire
been only safe on his fore legs, and while I write this I might--but let
me continue. The gloom and melancholy which beset me, momentarily
increased. But three months before, and my prospects presented every
thing that was fairest and brightest--now all the future was dark and
dismal. Then my best friends could scarcely avoid envy at my fortune
--now my reverses might almost excite compassion even in an enemy. It
was singular enough, and I should not like to acknowledge it, were not
these Confessions in their very nature intended to disclose the very
penetralia of my heart; but singular it certainly was--and so I have
always felt it since, when reflecting on it--that although much and
warmly attached to Lady Jane Callonby, and feeling most acutely what I