actual bitterness of death! I was leaving everything that was dear to
me on earth, and going out into the dark unknown, alone.

Of course it's for the best, the disagreeable always is. You are
responsible, my beloved cousin, and the consequences be on your
head. You thought my salvation lay in leaving Kentucky and seeking my
fortune in strange lands. Your tender sensibilities shrank from having
me exposed to the world as a young widow who is not sorry. So you
"shipped me some-wheres East of Suez" and tied me up with a four
years' contract.

But, honor bright, Mate, I don't believe in your heart you can blame
me for not being sorry! I stuck it out to the last,--faced neglect,
humiliations, and days and nights of anguish, almost losing my
self-respect in my effort to fulfil my duty. But when death suddenly
put an end to it all, God alone knows what a relief it was! And how
curiously it has all turned out! First my taking the Kindergarten
course just to please you, and to keep my mind off things that ought
not to have been. Then my sudden release from bondage, and the
dreadful manner of it, my awkward position, my dependence,--and in the
midst of it all this sudden offer to go to Japan and teach in a
Mission school!

Isn't it ridiculous, Mate? Was there ever anything so absurd as my lot
being cast with a band of missionaries? I, who have never missed a
Kentucky Derby since I was old enough to know a bay from a sorrel! I
guess old Sister Fate doesn't want me to be a one part star. For
eighteen years I played pure comedy, then tragedy for seven, and now I
am cast for a character part.