dignity of the sex. Not intentionally," added my mother, mildly, and
afraid she had said something too bitter; "but it is very hard for a man
to describe us women."

The captain nodded approvingly; Mr. Squills smiled; my father quietly
resumed the thread of his discourse.

"To continue," quoth he. "Riccabocca has no reason to despair of success
in his suit, nor any object in moving his mistress to compassion. He
may, therefore, very properly tie up his garters and leave off his
spectacles. What do you say, Mr. Squills?--for, after all, since love-
making cannot fail to be a great constitutional derangement, the
experience of a medical man must be the best to consult."

"Mr. Caxton," replied Squills, obviously flattered, "you are quite right:
when a man makes love, the organs of self-esteem and desire of applause
are greatly stimulated, and therefore, of course, he sets himself off to
the best advantage. It is only, as you observe, when, like Shakspeare's
lover, he has given up making love as a bad job, and has received that
severe hit on the ganglions which the cruelty of a mistress inflicts,
that he neglects his personal appearance: he neglects it, not because he
is in love, but because his nervous system is depressed. That was the
cause, if you remember, with poor Major Prim. He wore his wig all awry
when Susan Smart jilted him; but I set it right for him."

"By shaming Miss Smart into repentance, or getting him a new sweetheart?"
asked my uncle.

"Pooh!" answered Squills, "by quinine and cold bathing."