blessed Augustus, and also to the blessed Augusta, his grandmother, whom he
ordered to be made a goddess, and whereas he far surpasses all mortal men
in wisdom, and seeing that it is for the public good that there be some one
able to join Romulus in devouring boiled turnips, I propose that from this
day forth blessed Claudius be a god, to enjoy that honour with all its
appurtenances in as full a degree as any other before him, and that a note
to that effect be added to Ovid's Metamorphoses." The meeting was divided,
and it looked as though Claudius was to win the day. For Hercules saw his
iron was in the fire, trotted here and trotted there, saying, "Don't deny
me; I make a point of the matter. I'll do as much for you again, when you
like; you roll my log, and I'll roll yours: one hand washes another."

Then arose the blessed Augustus, when his turn 10
came, and spoke with much eloquence. [Footnote: The speech seems to contain
a parody of Augustus's style and sayings.] "I call you to witness, my lords
and gentlemen," said he, "that since the day I was made a god I have never
uttered one word. I always mind my own business. But now I can keep on the
mask no longer, nor conceal the sorrow which shame makes all the greater.
Is it for this I have made peace by land and sea? For this have I calmed
intestine wars? For this, laid a firm foundation of law for Rome, adorned
it with buildings, and all that--my lords, words fail me; there are none
can rise to the height of my indignation. I must borrow that saying of the
eloquent Messala Corvinus, I am ashamed of my authority. [Footnote: M.
Valerius Messala Corvinus, appointed praefectus urbi, resigned within a
week.] This man, my lords, who looks as though he could not hurt a fly,
used to chop off heads as easily as a dog sits down. But why should I speak
of all those men, and such men? There is no time to lament for public
disasters, when one has so many private sorrows to think of. I leave that,
therefore, and say only this; for even if my sister knows no Greek, I do:
The knee is nearer than the shin. [Footnote: A proverb, like "Charity