SENECA

APOCOLOCYNTOSIS, OR LUDUS DE MORTE CLAUDII: THE PUMPKINIFICATION OF
CLAUDIUS.

I wish to place on record the proceedings in heaven 1
October 13 last, of the new year which begins this auspicious age. It
shall be done without malice or favour. This is the truth. Ask if you like
how I know it? To begin with, I am not bound to please you with my answer.
Who will compel me? I know the same day made me free, which was the last
day for him who made the proverb true--One must be born either a Pharaoh
or a fool. If I choose to answer, I will say whatever trips off my tongue.
Who has ever made the historian produce witness to swear for him? But if
an authority must be produced, ask of the man who saw Drusilla translated
to heaven: the same man will aver he saw Claudius on the road, dot and
carry one. [Sidenote: Virg. Aen. ii, 724] Will he nill he, all that happens
in heaven he needs must see. He is the custodian of the Appian Way; by that
route, you know, both Tiberius and Augustus went up to the gods. Question
him, he will tell you the tale when you are alone; before company he is
dumb. You see he swore in the Senate that he beheld Drusilla mounting
heavenwards, and all he got for his good news was that everybody gave him
the lie: since when he solemnly swears he will never bear witness again to
what he has seen, not even if he had seen a man murdered in open market.
What he told me I report plain and clear, as I hope for his health and
happiness.

Now had the sun with shorter course drawn in his risen light, 2