At this they all rushed for me. With paste-brush and shears I kept them
off, until somebody pushed me over a woman who had got tripped up, when
the army of infuriated Amazons piled onto my aged form.

This round dident last more'n two minutes, for as soon as they got me
down, they all stuck their confounded needles into me, and then left me
lookin' more like a porkupine than a human bein'.

I hadent more'n had time to pull out a few quarts of needles, before in
walks 2 big strappin' farmers.

"Old man, we've come for you," said one of 'em. "We'll larn you to
slander honest fokes."

At this he let fly his rite bute at my cote skirts.

I was home-sick, you can jest bet. Then t'other chap let me have it.

"Down stairs with him," sed they both, and down I went, pooty lively for
an old man.

Just as I got to the bottom I lit on a man's head. It was Deekin PERKINS
comein' to "bust my gizzard."

"Hevings and airth," sed the Deekin as he tumbled over in the entry way.
I jumped behind a door, emejutly, and as the farmers proceeded to polish
off the Deekin, I was willin' to forgive both of 'em, as the Deekin
groaned and yelled.