I live as long again, and half as long again, and two years and a
half,--how old shall I be?

_Q._ Where is your residence? _A._ I live at home with the family, have
often thought that, amid pleasures and palaces, there is no place like
home, unless it be a boarding house with hot and cold water.

_Q._ What is your occupation? _A._ Taxpayer. This takes my whole time

_Q._ Where were you born? _A._ Having made no minute of it at the time,
it has passed out of my memory.

_Q._ What kind of a house do you live in? _A._ A mortgaged house,
painted flesh color, a front exposure, brick windows and a brass
lightning rod. A good deal of back yard, (and back rent,) to it.

_Q._ At what age did your grandfather die? _A._ If he died last night,
(I saw him yesterday at a horse race,) he was turning ninety-eight,
perhaps he got tipped over in the turn.

_Q._ Do you hold any official position: if so, what? _A._ Inspector of
fish,--every Friday.

_Q._ Are you insured? A. I am agent for half a dozen companies. So are
all my neighbors. My life is insured against fire for several thousands.

_Q._ Are you troubled with chilblains? _A._ Quitely. I soak my feet in
oil of vitriol.

_Q._ Were you in the war? _A._ I have the scar on my arm which I got in