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There's Pippins and Cheese to Come by Charles S. Brooks
page 24 of 106 (22%)
better to throw away one's stick lest it make a show of violence. Or it may
be concealed along the outer leg. Ministers of Grace defend us, what an
excitement in the barnyard! Has virtue no reward? Shall innocence perish
off the earth? Not one dog, but many, come running out. There has gone
a rumor about the barn that there is a stranger to be eaten, and it's
likely--if they keep their clamor--there will be a bone for each. Note how
the valor oozes from the man of peace! Observe his sidling gait, his skirts
pulled close, his hollowed back, his head bent across his shoulder, his
startled eye! Watch him mince his steps, lest a lingering heel be nipped!
Listen to him try the foremost dog with names, to gull him to a belief that
they have met before in happier circumstances! He appeals mutely to the
farmhouse that a recall be sounded. The windows are tightly curtained. The
heavens are comfortless.

You remember the fellow in the play who would have loved war had they not
digged villainous saltpetre from the harmless earth. The countryside, too,
in my opinion, would be more peaceful of a summer afternoon were it not
overrun with dogs. Let me be plain! I myself like dogs--sleepy dogs
blinking in the firelight, friendly dogs with wagging tails, young dogs in
their first puppyhood with their teeth scarce sprouted, whose jaws have not
yet burgeoned into danger, and old dogs, too, who sun themselves and give
forth hollow, toothless, reassuring sounds. When a dog assumes the cozy
habits of the cat without laying off his nobler nature, he is my friend. A
dog of vegetarian aspect pleases me. Let him bear a mild eye as though he
were nourished on the softer foods! I would wish every dog to have a full
complement of tail. It's the sure barometer of his warm regard. There's no
art to find his mind's construction in the face. And I would have him with
not too much curiosity. It's a quality that brings him too often to the
gate. It makes him prone to sniff when one sits upon a visit. Nor do I like
dogs addicted to sudden excitement. Lethargy becomes them better. Let them
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