Elasticity of the Precious Metals, but have generally found it extremely
difficult to make both ends meet.

Considering, therefore, that I had as just a claim to be called
scientific, as many who pretend to be _Savants_, I determined to attend
the late Scientific Convention at Troy. My reception was most
gratifying. On presenting my credentials to the Convention, that learned
body welcomed me with open arms, and I was escorted to a place among the
members by its distinguished head.

Some of the speculations of these eminent philosophers were exceedingly
profound, and it is really wonderful, Mr. PUNCHINELLO, to what an extent
theory may be carried in the advance of science.

Mr. GOOSEFELT read a learned and original paper--carefully compiled from
various sources--on the Steam Engine, in the course of which he stated
that his great aunt, who had been blown up on the first steamboat that
ever went down in the Mississippi, during the great Earthquake of 1811,
was still living. Also, that his godfather, the celebrated Mr.
NICODEMUS, assisted (probably in the interests of science) in pulling
down the statue of GEORGE III in the Bowling Green. The importance of
these two facts cannot be over-estimated, as they will undoubtedly give
a tremendous impulse to the wheels of science.

Professor GREYWACKE, the eminent Geologist, delivered an address on
Natural Petrifactions, indicating the various specimens of Ancient
Fossils by which he was surrounded, and describing their formation. The
audience was probably Petrified with astonishment at the immense
learning and research he displayed, for it observed a Stony silence,
only interrupted by an occasional snore.