The statutes of the 12 Apostles attracted my attention.

"And this," said a ministerial long-faced lookin' man, with a white
choker, "is the last supper.--What a sagacious eye has PETER got--How
doubtful THOMAS looks--MATTHEW is in deep thought, probly thinkin' of
the times he was a fisherman. What a _longin'_ look in that astoot
eye," said he, nudgin' me with his gold-headed cane.

"Yes," said I, "he is probly _longin'_ for that 'ere dish of ham and
eggs, in the middle of the table."

"Look at SIMON," he continered. "See! his eye rests upon his rite hand,
which is closed beside him on the table. His lips are parted as if he
was going to say--

"SIMON says thumbs up," I quickly replide, interruptin' him. I diden't
mean anything disrespectful to nobody, but that 'ere man flew into a
vilent rage.

"Can it be, that a soul so devoid of poetry lives in this age?" said he.
"My venerable friend, I blush for you--yes, I blush for you, you are
devoid of sentiment."

"Look here, Captin," said I, "you may be a good preacher and all that
sort of thing. Excuse me for sayin' it, you hain't a BEECHER--Skarcely.
H. WARD soots me--He is chock full of sentiment--at the same time he can
relish a joak ekal to the best of us. Mix a little sunshine with that
gloomy lookin' countenance of yours. Don't let people of the world think
they must draw down their faces and colaps, because a man joaks about a
lot of wacks figgers dressed up in 6 penny caliker. Them's the kind of