idealism and tries to make her over. The wife despises his "cold and
calculating" tendencies and tries to make him over. That means war, for
it is impossible to make over _anybody but yourself_.

_Because_ the man despises his wife's tendencies and she despises his,
it never occurs to either to try making over _themselves_, thus helping
along the very thing they were drawn together for.

If Tudor's picture holds two people who are _always_ equal though
utterly different; whose future actions are an unknown quantity to be
taken as they come and each action to be met in a spirit of _respect_
and inquiry, with a view to understanding and learning from it; if over
and through all his picture Tudor spreads a glow of _purpose_ to
preserve _his own_ respect and love _for her_, at all costs;--if this is
the sort of picture Tudor makes in the silence he will surely realize it
later.

It requires but one to strike the keynote of respect and personal
freedom in marriage; the other will soon come into harmony.

You can readily see that all marital jars come from this lack of
equality in the individual mind. If a man thinks he is perfectly able to
take care of and to judge for himself he resents interference from
another. On the other hand if he believes his wife is equally able to
judge for _herself_, he _never_ thinks of interfering with her actions.
Of course the same is true of the wife. It is lack of respect and
confidence which begets the making-over spirit in a family, and from
this one cause arises all in harmony.

Individual freedom is the _only_ basis for harmonious action; not only