the duty of him who might have been victor to display a magnanimous
spirit to those who in that case would have been the vanquished. I must,
however, regret that circumstances of a peculiar nature prevent my
availing myself of Mr. BENNETT's kind offer. Though this will not stand
in the way of my accepting with pleasure--nay, even with alacrity--the $250
silver cup appointed for the winner of to-day's race, as the just meed
of one who, though of a naturally retiring disposition, is forced on the
present occasion to acknowledge himself _facile princeps_.

(Signed) Sporting Spec, _vice_ PUNCHINELLO.

After waiting for Mr. BENNETT'S gig, or water-buggy, to row up and award
the prize, your special nodded majestically to the Oar-acular, who
thereupon steamed slowly up the bay again, arriving at the Battery in
the rosy dawn.

* * * * *

PRUSSIA'S POSITION PHILOSOPHICALLY PUT.

German metaphysicians have settled so completely to the satisfaction of
their countrymen that "being" and "not being" are identical, that this
may serve to explain how, while holding possession of her share in the
partition of Poland, Prussia professes to be virtuously indignant at
France for retaining Alsace and Lorraine.

* * * * *

OUT OF THE PAN INTO THE FIRE.