* * * * *

A FINE OLD LADY.

In this day of monetary papyrus, it is pleasing to read of an ancient
matron in Lafayette, Ind., who, at the age of eighty-nine, has gone to
her reward, leaving no property save a $20 gold piece. For several
years, she has been reserving this honest coin to pay her funeral
expenses; and one cannot help surmising that she must have been
distantly related to the late Old Bullion BENTON. "No National Bank
nonsense at my tomb!" said she; "no grimed and greasy currency for my
undertaker! I will have a specie-paying funeral or none at all." As we
have the precedent of a great many Old Ladies in the Cabinet, we are
rather sorry that it is too late to invite this clear-headed dame to
take a chair in Washington.

* * * * *

[Illustration: A MODEST REQUEST.

_Disbursing Agent of Political Organization [to Delegation on biz.]_:
"AH! GENTLEMEN, YOU REPRESENT THE----"

_Spokesman_. "YES; WE WANT $200. I'M THE KNOCK-'EM-DOWN CLUB, AND HE'S
THE TARGET COMPANY."]

* * * * *

THE WRONG "DUMMIE."