rale-fence-lookin femail, whose nose looked as if sheed been sokin it in
a bladder of black snuff.

"Well! sweet wolfs in lambs clothin," said I, puttin on one of my
shrewed expreshuns, "you look as if you was a lot of, so-called,
strong-minded femails, who was up to snuff, but, in an endevor to
scratch somebody bare-boned, you'd lost your footin, and tumbled
slap-bang into a coal-hole."

"We air, sir," says another ethereal-lookin hearthstun depopulater,
"members of the Skeensboro Sore-eye-siss Society. We believe wimmens has
got rites, which man won't let her have. We believe the ballit is
calkilated to raise woman to her proper speer. We believe hoop-skirts
and side-saddles will soon be numbered among the lost arts. We believe
SOOZAN B. ANTHONY, E. CADY STANTON, WENDIL FILLIPS, or Mister BLACKWELL,
are just as capable of bein President of this ere old Union, as the best
man which ever wore panterloons; and we air bound hensforth and forever,
one and onseperable, to stand up for our rites, if we can only rope in
enuff Congressmen to hold our bonnits."

Durin the a-4-said bust of elokence, about 75 wimmen was holdin ballits
for me to take, while others were vilently swingin their gingham
parasols over my bald head.

All seemed as if they was jest bilin over to get their clutches about my
breethin apparatus. Says I:

"Go hum and be femails, and don't make sich tarnal loonatix of yourself
any longer, gittin mixed up with the body polertick; for sures you're
born, when woman votes sheel trail her skirts in the dust and you cant