THE POLITEST NATION IN THE WORLD.

We had always considered JOHNNY CRAPAUD as the pink of politeness. But
we are now satisfied that JOHNNY BULL goes ever so far ahead of him. We
have never known that Frenchman yet, who would oblige his enemies by
killing himself. But the recent loss of the _Captain_ shows that the
noble Englishmen are prepared to do this by wholesale. One could wish
our enemies no worse luck than to have a few such _Captains_ given them.
And how lavish the expenditure! It takes no end of money to get up one
of those big iron-plated coffins. It is certainly a dramatic,
_auto-da-fé_ and a most obliging act, considered with reference to one's
possible enemies. No Frenchman ever thought of such a thing. In fact,
they go no further than positively declining to do anything bad with
their navy.

* * * * *

[Illustration: FASHIONABLE INTELLIGENCE.

"THERE WAS A SURPRISE PARTY AT No. 9,999 TWENTY-THIRD STREET LAST
EVENING. UPON RETURNING FROM THE OPERA, THE PROPRIETORS FOUND THEIR
MANSION FULL, OF GUESTS."]

* * * * *

A DRY SETTLEMENT.

There is a little young village in Denver which rejoices in the name of
Greeley. To this place came a benevolent bar-keeper, bringing a cheerful