indulged in a _post-mortem_ examination of a private dwelling, or the
rare pleasantry of roasting a policeman. But dared complain, for public
excitement waxed high on the subject of Muscle.

And when the day arrived which was to decide the momentous question, the
banks of the lake were decked with the beauty and culture of the land,
and fair hands "staked their odds," and fair lips became familiar with
"home-stretches," "spurts," and "fouls."

A body of students crossed the ocean to win a boat-race, and the public
Press told us in very large capitals what they ate and drank, and the
exact condition of a boil belonging to one of the party. But the heart
of the nation beat high with hope, until the appalling intelligence was
flashed across the wires that they were defeated. It was a cruel blow.
Strong men looked at one another in mute agony, or spoke as if there was
a corpse in the next room. The Press sent up a wail that resounded
through the land. An eminent divine pronounced it a "National
misfortune," and the pictorials containing wood-cuts of the lamented
heroes were put away, as we put away the playthings of a child that has
died.

No wonder that Mr. JEFFRY MAULBOY was looked up to and courted, for he
had a medal bestowed upon him as a Champion Paddler, and had lost a bet
of fifty dollars on the "Great International Contest."

But his towering ambition remained unsated. He realized that he lived in
a progressive age, and his superior talents enabled him to take a stand
far ahead of his fellows. By diligent application to his noble
profession, he was now a member of that exalted Institution, "The Prize
Ring of America," and the letters P.R.U.S.A. were elegantly imprinted