But what they proceeded to do My Lady never knew; for she was so
frightened at the long words that she ran for her life, and locked
herself into her bedroom, for fear of being squashed by the words
and strangled by the sentence. A boa constrictor, she said, was
bad company enough: but what was a boa constrictor made of paving
stones?

"It was quite shocking! What can they think is the matter with
him?" said she to the old nurse.

"That his wit's just addled; may be wi' unbelief and heathenry,"
quoth she.

"Then why can't they say so?"

And the heaven, and the sea, and the rocks, and the vales re-
echoed--"Why indeed?" But the doctors never heard them.

So she made Sir John write to the Times to command the Chancellor
of the Exchequer for the time being to put a tax on long words; -

A light tax on words over three syllables, which are necessary
evils, like rats: but, like them, must be kept down judiciously.

A heavy tax on words over four syllables, as heterodoxy,
spontaneity, spiritualism, spuriosity, etc.

And on words over five syllables (of which I hope no one will wish
to see any examples), a totally prohibitory tax.