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Diary of a Nobody by George Grossmith;Weedon Grossmith
page 3 of 154 (01%)
boy Willie is getting on so well in the Bank at Oldham. We should
like to see more of him. Now for my diary:-


April 3.--Tradesmen called for custom, and I promised Farmerson,
the ironmonger, to give him a turn if I wanted any nails or tools.
By-the-by, that reminds me there is no key to our bedroom door, and
the bells must be seen to. The parlour bell is broken, and the
front door rings up in the servant's bedroom, which is ridiculous.
Dear friend Gowing dropped in, but wouldn't stay, saying there was
an infernal smell of paint.

April 4. Tradesmen still calling; Carrie being out, I arranged to
deal with Horwin, who seemed a civil butcher with a nice clean
shop. Ordered a shoulder of mutton for to-morrow, to give him a
trial. Carrie arranged with Borset, the butterman, and ordered a
pound of fresh butter, and a pound and a half of salt ditto for
kitchen, and a shilling's worth of eggs. In the evening, Cummings
unexpectedly dropped in to show me a meerschaum pipe he had won in
a raffle in the City, and told me to handle it carefully, as it
would spoil the colouring if the hand was moist. He said he
wouldn't stay, as he didn't care much for the smell of the paint,
and fell over the scraper as he went out. Must get the scraper
removed, or else I shall get into a SCRAPE. I don't often make
jokes.

April 5.--Two shoulders of mutton arrived, Carrie having arranged
with another butcher without consulting me. Gowing called, and
fell over scraper coming in. MUST get that scraper removed.

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