which my attention has of late been more particularly turned, with a
desire to enlarge my ideas and improve my understanding in some of the
more useful and extended branches of literature, it has excited in me a
considerable degree of caution, lest thereby I should, in this my infant
state of mind, too much exclude the operation of that pure in-speaking
word which has undoubtedly a prior right to govern all my actions. But I
have long been convinced that the active mind of man must have some object
in pursuit to engage its attention when unemployed in the lawful concerns
of life, otherwise it is apt to range at large in a boundless field of
unprofitable thoughts and imaginations. I am aware that we may be
seasonably employed in suitable conversation to mutual advantage, and I
trust I am not altogether a stranger to the value of _sweet
retirement_; but there is a certain something in every mind which
renders a change in the exercise of our natural faculties indispensable,
in order to make us happy in ourselves and useful members of society; and
it is under these considerations that I am induced to apply a few of my
leisure hours towards some degree of intellectual attainment, in the
humble hope that I may be preserved in that path which will procure at the
hands of a wise Director that approbation which I greatly desire should
mark all my steps.


The next extract from the diary will find a response in the hearts of many
who read these pages.


1813. 2 _mo_. 17.--Never, surely, was any poor creature so weary of
his weakness! Almost in everything spiritual, and even useful, I have not
only been as one forsaken, but it has seemed as though I was to be utterly
cast off. When I have desired to feel after good, evil has never failed to