In the Twelfth Month of 1819, John Yeardley attended the Quarterly Meeting
at York, and has some religious service on the way. His account of this
little journey is preceded by some instructive reflections on his own
infirmities and lack of ready obedience.


9 _mo_. 15.--I feel exceedingly discouraged at my own obstinacy in
not keeping more humble, watchful, and attentive to the inward monitor. I
am sensible loss is sustained in a religions sense by giving way too much
to an airy disposition.

12 _mo_. 12.--When I consider the many years which have elapsed since
I first enlisted under the Lord's banner, I find cause deeply to reproach
myself for want of a more early and implicit obedience to the _divine
will_; the want of which, I fully believe, has been the means of
plunging me into seas of trouble and years of perplexity. I fear the time
lost will never be redeemed. O, should I ever have to warn others to
beware of the rock on which I have split, surely it may be done through
heartfelt experience indeed! And as the glorious light of the sun begins
mercifully to verge from under the cloud, O, may I never, never forget the
sacred covenant made in the days of my deep distress, that if the Lord
would loosen my bonds, then would I serve him freely.

25_th_.--I went to Thornton to R.W.'s, and next day to Lothersdale
Meeting, accompanied by D.W. and some other part of R.W.'s family. The
forepart of that meeting was very trying, at which I did not wonder, if we
might judge from a previous feeling; for ever since the prospect of this
little visit presented to my view, I felt a load on my spirit which I
could not by any means cast off. On entering the place, I thought, when
our dear Lord sent forth his disciples, he commanded them to take neither