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Memoir and Diary of John Yeardley, Minister of the Gospel by John Yeardley
page 80 of 520 (15%)
feel drawn in spirit towards the land of ----? My thoughts have now for a
long time past so frequently and so involuntarily revolved on the subject
that I begin to be very jealous over them, and to query whether it is the
workings of self-imaginations. If this is the case, O that I may be
relieved from them. But however unaccountable my feelings may be, a secret
love towards some unknown souls in ---- is so strong at times, that if I
had wings I should for my own inward peace visit them in body as I now do
in spirit. It seems as if my spiritual eye saw in those parts what we may
call a seed (the seed of the kingdom sown in the heart) that wants to take
root downwards and spring upwards, but which is almost choked with the
tares of superstition. Are there not scattered up and down in ----, many
whose souls are verging from under the clouds of thick darkness, and from
under the bonds of idolatrous superstition, towards that glorious liberty
which is brought to light by the gospel? Something in me secretly craves
an opportunity to tell those precious creatures that the time appears near
at hand when this glorious gospel light will shine so clearly that they
will discover a Saviour in the secret of their own hearts; and it is to
him (I could tell them) that they must look for the perfection of their
salvation. Should there be anything of the right savor in my heart
concerning this matter, I humbly hope that in due time it will be brought
to maturity, and my way made plain and easy--_plain_, so that I
cannot possibly mistake the pointing hand of divine wisdom, and
_easy_, so that when I hear the command I may be enabled to obey.

A very instructive time at meeting. The subject abovementioned glanced in
my view, and with it the Dover-failing objection, If I am at all "apt
to teach," can it or will it be required of me to leave those here and
others in this land who have need of instruction? This objection was
immediately answered in a way which I never before experienced. They
have, besides many teachers, the unerring light of Jesus in their own
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