train come in. The arrival of the train--notice the train--is what you
might call the main event of the day. As soon as the village yokels saw
my trunks being unloaded they all did the grand duck for the theatre to
strike the house manager, thinking it was a show. I hadn't tipped my
mitt to the folks, so they were not at the tank to give me the parental
embrace, but after giving the necessary instructions to the baggage man
I climbed into the Palace Hotel bus and romped up to my ancestors'
abode.

"Business of weeping on neck. Mother wigwags father, who comes over from
the grocery store, where he is electing the President of the United
States. Business of rejoicing ad. lib. Sister comes in from the village
school; neighbors kick in to see what's coming off. Entrance of trunks,
gasps of surprise by populace. Distribution of presents by muh.

"That night there was a young people's meeting at the church. A young
people's meeting is a signal for every old dame in the township that's
not married to iron out her white silk waist and take it on the run for
the tabernacle. After the usual prelude the minister got up and said,
'We would like a few words from Sabrina, who has lately returned to our
little flock from the busy scenes of the great and wicked metropolis.' I
had to get up and hand out the usual stereotyped and mimeographed stuff
about being glad to be in their midst once again and it did my heart
good to see so many bright and shining faces, etc., etc. I had on a
modest little frock that had only lanced me about three hundred and made
the aurora borallis look like a dark night. So that the admiring public
wouldn't overlook any bets in the costume line I enlivened my discourse
with these illustrated song gestures, every move a picture.

"After the olio the Busy Brigade of the Ladies' Auxiliary took the