over and I found out that they knew several people I did, and anyway
they were from New York and that helped a heap. They were going to leave
that afternoon, but I prevailed upon them to stay over until the next
day. I was invited into the hotel for dinner, and we opened the first
bottle of champagne wine, as they say out West, that had been opened in
Emporia since the Governor went through. In truth, the bottle was
covered with specks, and the label had faded so you could hardly read
it, but when the cork went 'wop!' three traveling men at the next table
burst into tears.

"After we had consumed all the champagne wine they had in the snare, I
tipped them off to a speak-easy, and we decided to ride down there in
the machine, and then go for a little tour, as it were. By this time it
had been noised through the city that some one had taken the bottle out
of the show window, and a large crowd had assembled to see the
plutocrats come forth. We capered blithely out to the machine, climbed
in and hiked for the blind tiger. After the usual red tape the captain
sold us about two quarts of jig-juice--the kind that makes a jack-rabbit
spit in a bulldog's eye.

"Anon, we again went for a ride, and I am here to state that the way we
breezed through that village made the proverbial Kansas cyclone look as
if it was running on crutches. The inhabitants that didn't duck for the
cellars stood on the plankwalk and made rude and discomplimentary
remarks. Some well-meaning Rube had tipped his mitt to the town marshal,
and that worthy cluck had stretched a rope from the blacksmith shop to
the corner of the livery stable, so naturally we had to pause. Enter
Marshal R.U.E. with business of making a pinch. After filing the usual
protests we were haled before the Magistrate. Here's a copy of the
testimony: