lettin him pelt the old lady with snow balls in the winter time. In the
summer time get him a bow and arrer, and let him see how neer he come to
the venerable lady's nose without breakin her spectorcals. If this don't
make him cheeky enuff to hold offis, let him pour a lot of benzine onto
his little cuzzin, then push her onto a red hot cole stove. If he can do
this and think it a joak, he will do for a cabinet offiser.

If he tries to jump over parental authority, fill him with shot, same as
_your_ man did his jumpin frog, only pour it into him with a mustick.

If you've got any regard for our nashnal caracter, don't let your son
rite comic copy for the noosepapers, after which, be so rash as to rite
a book, and have English crickets set up their darn singin, when they
catch your little _innocent abroad_.

JOHN BULL don't tickle easy, remember that. I actually believe you
couldent stir him with a hul bag full of laffin gas.

As your boy has entered the Lecture field, I shouldent be surprised if
he got up quite a _breeze_ on the roast-rum. In fact, when he opens his
mouth before an audience, look out for _squalls_.

When your offspring is big enuff to enjoy chastisin, remember the "good
little boy," and examine your son's garments to see if the lad has been
roostin onto any nitro-gleserine cans, lest the parental hand, when
brought in contact with the youth's _habeas corpus_, mite necessitate the
sweepin up of father and son's scattered remnants.

Let your son reed the works on good morril men's lives.