the extreme tip of her thin red nose a solitary tear glistened like a
dew-drop on a beet. Once, about midnight, she awoke me by her snoring,
but I gave the old gal's chignon a hitch, and it was all right again.

Yours, somniferously,

DICK TINTO.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THOSE COUNTRY COUSINS AGAIN.

_Celia (just arrived from the country)._ "JUST THINK, JANE, COUSIN JOHN
IS TO BE MY ESCORT TO THE FRENCH BAZAAR AND THE NILSSON CONCERTS, AND
BOOTH'S AND WALLACE'S, AND THE OPERA BOUFFÉ, AND LOTS OF OTHER
FIRST-CLASS SHOWS!"]

* * * * *

FACTS ABOUT THE ENGLISH MISSION.

It is not true that I ever accepted the English Mission; and if any man
says I did, I now deliberately brand him as a Liar and Villain.

I am not going to deny that the place was offered me, but I do
unhesitatingly, say that I never absolutely consented to take it.

Gen. GRANT may have construed my note on the subject as an unqualified
acceptance, but that was owing entirely to his devouring desire to get
the thing off his hands, and not to any ambiguity in my language.