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A Romance of the Republic by Lydia Maria Francis Child
page 23 of 456 (05%)
principles, which the education of false circumstances had given her
no opportunity to form. I had remorseful thoughts at times, but I am
quite sure she was never troubled in that way. She loved and trusted
me entirely. She knew that the marriage of a white man with one of her
race was illegal; and she quietly accepted the fact, as human
beings do accept what they are powerless to overcome. Her daughters
attributed her olive complexion to a Spanish origin; and their only
idea was, and is, that she was my honored wife, as indeed she was in
the inmost recesses of my heart. I gradually withdrew from the few
acquaintances I had formed in New Orleans; partly because I was
satisfied with the company of Eulalia and our children, and partly
because I could not take her with me into society. She had no
acquaintances here, and we acquired the habit of living in a little
world by ourselves,--a world which, as you have seen, was transformed
into a sort of fairy-land by her love of beautiful things. After I
lost her, it was my intention to send the children immediately to
France to be educated. But procrastination is my besetting sin; and
the idea of parting with them was so painful, that I have deferred and
deferred it. The suffering I experience on their account is a just
punishment for the wrong I did their mother. When I think how
beautiful, how talented, how affectionate, and how pure they are, and
in what a cruel position I have placed them, I have terrible writhings
of the heart. I do not think I am destined to long life; and who will
protect them when I am gone?"

A consciousness of last night's wishes and dreams made Alfred blush
as he said, "It occurred to me that your eldest daughter might be
betrothed to Mr. Fitzgerald."

"I hope not," quickly rejoined Mr. Royal. "He is not the sort of man
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