the second mate barefooted, the chief mate in long india-rubber
boots, near the break of the poop, and the steward half-way down
the poop-ladder talking to them eagerly. He happened to catch
sight of me and dived, the second ran down on the main-deck
shouting some order or other, and the chief mate came to meet me,
touching his cap.

There was a sort of curiosity in his eye that I did not like. I
don't know whether the steward had told them that I was "queer"
only, or downright drunk, but I know the man meant to have a good
look at me. I watched him coming with a smile which, as he got
into point-blank range, took effect and froze his very whiskers. I
did not give him time to open his lips.

"Square the yards by lifts and braces before the hands go to
breakfast."

It was the first particular order I had given on board that ship;
and I stayed on deck to see it executed, too. I had felt the need
of asserting myself without loss of time. That sneering young cub
got taken down a peg or two on that occasion, and I also seized the
opportunity of having a good look at the face of every foremast man
as they filed past me to go to the after braces. At breakfast
time, eating nothing myself, I presided with such frigid dignity
that the two mates were only too glad to escape from the cabin as
soon as decency permitted; and all the time the dual working of my
mind distracted me almost to the point of insanity. I was
constantly watching myself, my secret self, as dependent on my
actions as my own personality, sleeping in that bed, behind that
door which faced me as I sat at the head of the table. It was very