friend of yours he seems less sub-human than I had expected. A bit of a
pop-eyed bleater, but on the whole clean and civil, and certainly most
informative about newts. Am considering arranging series of lectures for
him in neighbourhood. All the same I like your nerve using my house as a
summer-hotel resort and shall have much to say to you on subject when you
come down. Expect you thirtieth. Bring spats. Love. Travers._

To this I riposted:

_On consulting engagement book find impossible come Brinkley Court.
Deeply regret. Toodle-oo. Bertie._

Hers in reply stuck a sinister note:

_Oh, so it's like that, is it? You and your engagement book, indeed.
Deeply regret my foot. Let me tell you, my lad, that you will regret it a
jolly sight more deeply if you don't come down. If you imagine for one
moment that you are going to get out of distributing those prizes, you
are very much mistaken. Deeply regret Brinkley Court hundred miles from
London, as unable hit you with a brick. Love. Travers._

I then put my fortune to the test, to win or lose it all. It was not a
moment for petty economies. I let myself go regardless of expense:

_No, but dash it, listen. Honestly, you don't want me. Get Fink-Nottle
distribute prizes. A born distributor, who will do you credit.
Confidently anticipate Augustus Fink-Nottle as Master of Revels on
thirty-first inst. would make genuine sensation. Do not miss this great
chance, which may never occur again. Tinkerty-tonk. Bertie._