affected to do so.


"I intended to make no answer to your letter; it was something very
ungrateful, and I resolved to give over all thoughts of you. I could
easily have performed that resolve some time ago, but then you took
pains to please me; now you have brought me to esteem you, you make use
of that esteem to give me uneasiness; and I have the displeasure of
seeing I esteem a man that dislikes me. Farewell then: since you will
have it so, I renounce all the ideas I have so long flattered myself
with, and will entertain my fancy no longer with the imaginary pleasure
of pleasing you. How much wiser are all those women I have despised than
myself! In placing their happiness in trifles, they have placed it in
what is attainable. I fondly thought fine clothes and gilt coaches,
balls, operas, and public adoration, rather the fatigues of life; and
that true happiness was justly defined by Mr. Dryden (pardon the romantic
air of repeating verses), when he says,

'Whom Heav'n would bless it does from pomps remove
And makes their wealth in privacy and love.'

These notions had corrupted my judgment as much as Mrs. Biddy Tipkin's.
According to this scheme, I proposed to pass my life with you. I yet do
you the justice to believe, if any man could have been contented with
this manner of living, it would have been you. Your indifference to me
does not hinder me from thinking you capable of tenderness, and the
happiness of friendship; but I find it is not to me you'll ever have
them; you think me all that is detestable; you accuse me of want of
sincerity and generosity. To convince you of your mistake, I'll show you
the last extremes of both.