[But not in _Punch_.-ED.]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Caller at the office of the Inventions Board._ "'DURING
WAR PREPARE FOR PEACE'--THAT MUST BE OUR MOTTO! AND MY SPECIAL PATENT
SHELL-CASE IS THE VERY THING. A SHELL-CASE TO-DAY----AND A BLANC-MANGE
MOULD TO-MORROW."]

* * * * *

THE ONLY OTHER TOPIC.

"I shot a marrow into the--I mean I cut a marrow two feet seven inches
long yesterday," said the man in the corner seat.

"What did it weigh?" we asked anxiously. After two months of them
potatoes had somewhat palled. We were growing rather tired of marrows,
but we waited eagerly for his answer,

"Twenty-six pounds nine and three-quarter ounces."

Disappointment again. Our hopes were dashed to the ground. Some obscure
individual, according to the local press, had produced from his humble
cottage garden a marrow weighing thirty-four pounds, and the thing
rankled.

"Mine was a scraggy specimen, more like an Indian club than a marrow."

"Crossed in love, perhaps," said Dalton.