commanded his battalion with great ability. He has displayed
marked gallantry in every action in which he has taken part."

"A London angler, Mr. ----, has caught a roach of 2 lb. 1 oz. in
the Lark at Barton Mills, the largest fish of its kind landed
from this Suffolk stream for some years."

Though in these times monopolized by Mars
There's not a day that passes but one reads--
Sandwiched between unprofitable "pars"
And other wholly negligible screeds--
Of decorations, crosses, medals, bars,
Bestowed for valiant and heroic deeds;
Over these records we must often pass
Unless we've got a magnifying-glass!

But if some member of a fishing club
In London or the provinces, renowned
For prowess with the lob-worm or the grub,
Should land a roach of more than half a pound,
Then in the leading papers of the hub
Full space for that achievement will be found,
And clearest type and unaffected rapture
Will signalize the epoch-making capture!

The moral of the episode is plain:
If soldiers wish to petrify the nation,
Let them--when leave permits--no more disdain
To join a Roach or Perch Association,
Cull giant gooseberries, and strive to gain