My disappointment was acute,
Life seemed a worthless thing and mute.
I moped, then tuned my laggard lute
And launched a new offensive.

Thus you were wooed in former days
When maids were won by waiting;
The modern lover finds it pays
To imitate the forceful ways
Of prehistoric mating.
Man is more primitive (a snub
Has no effect), so if you
Should still refuse a certain "sub."
He will not pine or spurn his grub,
But, seizing the ancestral club,
Into submission biff you.

* * * * *

MAKING THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS.

"As honorary organist at ---- Wesleyan Church he has established
a sound and compact business as wholesale grocer and Italian
warehouseman."--_Provincial Paper._

* * * * *

"Maid (superior) wanted for lady, gentleman, small flat, strong
girl, able to assist lady with rheumatism."--_Glasgow Herald._