A grocer at Coalville, Leicestershire, riding a motor-bicycle without
lights, is said to have offered two and a half pounds of sugar to a
policeman to say nothing about it. Fortunately the constable, when he
came out of his faint, remembered the number of the bicycle, and the
man was summoned.

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[Illustration: "YOU ON GUARD TO-NIGHT, NOBBY?" "NAW." "WOT YER BIN AN'
WASHED YER FACE FOR, THEN?"]

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OFFICIAL RECTITUDE.

SWEDEN ON THE LUXBURG INCIDENT.

We cannot think that we're to blame.
We took the very natural view
That one who bore a German name
Would be as open as the blue;
Would bathe in sunlight, like a lark,
So different from the worm or weevil,
Those crawling things that love the dark
Because their deeds are evil.

We thought his cables just referred
To harmless matters such as crops,
The timber-market's latest word,
The local fashions in the shops,