***

Women are formally warned by the Ministry of Munitions against
using T.N.T. as a means of acquiring auburn hair. Any important
object striking the head--a chimney-pot or a bomb from an enemy
aeroplane--would be almost certain to cause an explosion, with
possible injury to the scalp.

* * * * *

[Illustration: "I'M COMING TO YOU WITH 'ARF A TON IN A MINUTE, SO
DON'T FRET YOURSELF, OLE PERISCOPE."]

* * * * *

GERMAN THOROUGHNESS AGAIN.

"TO HOLD POTATO CROP.

"NEW GERMAN FOOD DICTATOR WILL CONSUME ALL FOOD."--_Victoria Daily
Times_.

* * * * *

"An intelligent postal service has delivered those addressed to
1,000, Upper Grosvenor Street, W. 1, to the Ministry of Good at
Grosvenor House."--_Daily Mail_.

This is the first we have heard of this Ministry.