a case to represent the conscience and moral sensibilities of the mail;
and, when wildernesses of eggs were lying poached under our horses' hoofs,
then would I stretch forth my hands in sorrow, saying (in words too
celebrated in those days from the false[5] echoes of Marengo)--"Ah!
wherefore have we not time to weep over you?" which was quite impossible,
for in fact we had not even time to laugh over them. Tied to post-office
time, with an allowance in some cases of fifty minutes for eleven miles,
could the royal mail pretend to undertake the offices of sympathy and
condolence? Could it be expected to provide tears for the accidents of the
road? If even it seemed to trample on humanity, it did so, I contended, in
discharge of its own more peremptory duties.

Upholding the morality of the mail, _à fortiori_ I upheld its rights,
I stretched to the uttermost its privilege of imperial precedency, and
astonished weak minds by the feudal powers which I hinted to be lurking
constructively in the charters of this proud establishment. Once I remember
being on the box of the Holyhead mail, between Shrewsbury and Oswestry,
when a tawdry thing from Birmingham, some _Tallyho_ or _Highflier_, all
flaunting with green and gold, came up alongside of us. What a contrast to
our royal simplicity of form and color is this plebeian wretch! The single
ornament on our dark ground of chocolate color was the mighty shield of the
imperial arms, but emblazoned in proportions as modest as a signet-ring
bears to a seal of office. Even this was displayed only on a single panel,
whispering, rather than proclaiming, our relations to the state; whilst the
beast from Birmingham had as much writing and painting on its sprawling
flanks as would have puzzled a decipherer from the tombs of Luxor. For some
time this Birmingham machine ran along by our side--a piece of familiarity
that seemed to us sufficiently jacobinical. But all at once a movement of
the horses announced a desperate intention of leaving us behind. "Do you
see _that_?" I said to the coachman. "I see," was his short answer. He was