"I told ye. Ma candle keeps going oot. What's up yon?"
* * * * *
When the B.M. got back he found a one-sided war in progress on the
telephone. The G.O.C. had heated up the wires to red-heat.

"Is that you, Nessel? Where the devil have you been? This noise is
still going on. Tell me what it is. No-dam-nonsense-now. Let's have
it."

"If you want to know and you don't mind the Bosch hearing what I say,
Sir, the dump, the French dump, has b-blown itself to b-blazes."

"Why the _devil_ couldn't you say so before?"

Every dog has his day. With a full and fatuous smile the Brigade-Major
picked up a paper and began: "Reference your G. 245/348/24 of the 29th
inst. It says that--"

Somebody must have taken a bone away from a dog at the other end. He
growled horribly.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Flapper (shyly)._ "COULD YOU TELL ME WHAT A STAMP
STUCK ON AT _THAT_ ANGLE MEANS IN THE LANGUAGE OF POSTAGE-STAMPS?"]

* * * * *

From an account of the Ministerial crisis in Sweden:--