[Illustration: "GOOD NEWS, LADS; WE'VE GOT A CHANGE FER TEA TO-NIGHT."
"WHAT IS IT?" "ROUND BISCUITS INSTEAD O' SQUARE ONES."]

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THE IDEAL LODGER.

"Wanted, two Single Rooms, in private or boarding house; special
arrangements for constant absence."--_Australian Paper_.

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LETTERS OF A GENERAL TO HIS SON

(_ON OBTAINING A JUNIOR STAFF APPOINTMENT_).

MY DEAR BOY,--We both congratulate you heartily on your appointment.
Acting on your suggestion, I have hinted to your mother that her
anxieties for your safety may be considerably lessened in consequence.
You will, of course, continue to address letters likely to cause her
any apprehension to my club. On entering this new phase of your career
you will not take it amiss if I offer you a few words of practical
advice:--

1. Do not neglect your advantages. Always visit the line with a double
mission, one for the right of the line and one for the left--and see
which they are shelling.

2. If they are strafing all along the line, inspect Transport.