"Street lamp-posts in Chiswick are all being painted white
by female labour."--_Times_.

The authorities were afraid, we understand, that if males were
employed they would paint the town red.

* * * * *

"Four groups of raiders tried to attack London on Saturday
night. If there were eight in each group, this meant thirty-two
Gothas."--_Evening Standard_.

In view of the many loose and inaccurate assertions regarding the
air-raids, it is agreeable to meet with a statement that may be
unreservedly accepted.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Lodger (who has numbered his lumps of sugar with lead
pencil)_. "OH, MRS. JARVIS, I AM UNABLE TO FIND NUMBERS 3, 7 AND 18."]

* * * * *

THE DOOR.

Once upon a time there was a sitting-room, in which, when everyone
had gone to bed, the furniture, after its habit, used to talk. All
furniture talks, although the only pieces with voices that we human
beings can hear are clocks and wicker-chairs. Everyone has heard a