"Because whenever I bang," said the door, "they think I'm an
air-raid."

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Butler (the family having come down to the kitchen
during an air-raid)_. "'YSTERIA--WITHIN REASON--I DON'T OBJECT TO. BUT
WHAT I CAN'T STAND IS BRAVADO."]

* * * * *

CUSS-CONTROL.

I found myself, some time ago,
Growing too fond of cuss-words, so
I made a vow to curb my passions
And put my angry tongue on rations.

As no Controller yet exists
To frame these necessary lists,
I had myself to pick and choose
The words that I could safely use.

Four verbs found favour in my sight,
_Viz._, "drat" and "dash" and "blow" and "blight";
While "blithering" and "blinkin'" were
My only adjectival pair.

I freely own that "dash" and "drat"
At times sound lamentably flat;