if life were better, I shouldn't have come into the garden at night. You
know how it used to be, when I would think about myself--I suppose it must
have come into your head, too--that here you are, an honest girl; you live
like a bird, suddenly you're fascinated by some man, he makes love to you,
comes to see you often, kisses you.... You're abashed before him, yet happy
to see him. That's the way it always is. Although you may not be rich;
although it may be you have to sit with your lover in the servants' room;
yet it is as if you were a queen, just as if every day were a holiday for
you. Then they marry you, and all congratulate you. Well, then, no matter
how hard married life may be, perhaps there may be lots of work, in spite
of that you live as if in paradise; just as if you were proud of something.

LÍZA. Naturally, my girl.

NÁDYA. But when they say to you: "Pack off to this drunkard, and don't you
dare argue, and don't you dare cry over yourself!".... Oh, Líza!.... And
then you think how that horrid man will make fun of you, will bully you,
show his authority, will begin to ruin your life, all for nothing! You grow
old by his side without having a chance to live. [_She weeps_] It breaks
your heart even to tell about it! [_Waving her hand_] And so, indeed, the
young master is better.

LÍZA. Oh, Nádya; it would be better if you hadn't spoken, and I hadn't
listened!

NÁDYA. Stop, Líza! Why are you playing the prude with me? What would you do
yourself if the master fell in love with you?

LÍZA. [_Stammering_] Well, how should I know? Of course, what shall I
say.... the old Nick is strong.