instruct the attendant to put me down at the large gates, where they
possessed every requisite appliance, and also would, if desirable,
shave my head also. Here the incident assumes a more doubtful guise,
for, notwithstanding the admitted politeness of the one who spoke,
each of those to whom I subsequently addressed myself on the subject,
presented to me a face quite devoid of encouragement. While none
actually pointed out the vehicle I sought, many passed on in a state
of inward contemplation without replying, and some--chiefly the
attendants of other chariots of a similar kind--replied in what I
deemed to be a spirit of elusive metaphor, as he who asserted that
such a conveyance must be sought for at a point known intimately as
the Aldgate Pump, whence it started daily at half-past the thirteenth
gong-stroke; and another, who maintained that I had no prospect of
reaching the desired spot until I secured the services of one of a
class of female attendants who wear flowing blue robes in order to
indicate that they are prepared to encounter and vanquish any
emergency in life. To make no elaborate pretence in the matter this
person may definitely admit that he never did reach the place in
question, nor--in spite of a diligent search in which he has
encountered much obloquy--has he yet found any barber sufficiently
well equipped to undertake the detail.

Even more recently I suffered the unmerited rebuke of the superficial
through performing an act of deferential politeness. Learning that the
enlightened and magnanimous sovereign of this country was setting out
on a journey I stationed myself in the forefront of those who stood
before his palace, intending to watch such parts of the procession as
might be fitly witnessed by one of my condition. When these had
passed, and the chariot of the greatest approached, I respectfully
turned my back to the road with a propitiatory gesture, as of one who