although murderers by stealth, outlaws, snatchers from the body, and
companies of men who by strategy make a smaller sum of money appear to
be larger, can all freely testify their innocence, raisers of this
unlawful demon must not do so, and they are beaten on the head with
chains until they desist.

Then the lesser mandarins, raising their voices in unison, exclaim,
`The amiable Tsay-hi has reported the matter in a discreet and
impartial spirit. Hear our pronouncement: These raisers of illegal
spirits shall each contribute ten taels of gold, which shall be
expended in joss-sticks, in purifying the road which they have
scorched, and in alleviating the distress of the poor and virtuous of
both sexes. The praiseworthy Tsay-hi, moreover, shall embroider upon
his sleeve an honourable sign in remembrance of the event. Let drums
now be beat, and our verdict loudly proclaimed throughout the
province."

These things, O my illustrious father (although on account of my
contemptible deficiencies of style much may seem improbable to your
all-knowing mind), these things I write with an unbending brush; for I
set down only that which I have myself seen, or read in their own
printed records. Doubtless it will occur to one of your preternatural
intelligence that our own system of administering justice, whereby the
person who can hire the greater number of witnesses is reasonably held
to be in the right, although perhaps not absolutely infallible, is in
every way more convenient; but, as it is well said, "To the blind,
night is as acceptable as day."

Henceforth you will have no hesitation in letting it be known
throughout Yuen-ping that these foreign barbarians do possess secret