that there were hoaxed; people who had thus lost both time and money,
can be neither described nor imagined. It was not the idea of the
hoax--simple enough in itself--which was entitled to the admiration
accorded to ingenuity, but its extent and success, and the clever means
taken by the conspirators to insure the attendance of every one who
ought not to have been there. It was only late at night that the police
succeeded in clearing the street, and the dupes retired, murmuring and
vowing vengeance. Hook, however, gloried in the exploit, which he
thought 'perfect.'

But the hoaxing dearest to Theodore--for there was something to be
gained by it---was that by which he managed to obtain a dinner when
either too hard-up to pay for one, or in the humour for a little
amusement. No one who has not lived as a bachelor in London and been
reduced---in respect of coin--to the sum of twopence-halfpenny, can tell
how excellent a strop is hunger to sharpen wit upon. We all know that

'Mortals with stomachs can't live without dinner;'

and in Hook's day the substitute of 'heavy teas' was not invented.
Necessity is very soon brought to bed, when a man puts his fingers into
his pockets, finds them untenanted, and remembers that the only friend
who would consent to lend him five shillings is gone out of town; and
the infant, Invention, presently smiles into the nurse's face. But it
was no uncommon thing in those days for gentlemen to invite themselves
where they listed, and stay as long as they liked. It was only necessary
for them to make themselves really agreeable, and deceive their host in
some way or other. Hook's friend, little Tom Hill, of whom it was said
that he knew everybody's affairs far better than they did themselves,
was famous for examining kitchens about the hour of dinner, and quietly