wrote, which I could not show her: and taken my directions about the
estates to be made over to me on my nuptials.--Yet, with all these
favourable appearances, no conceding moment to be found, no improvable
tenderness to be raised.

But never, I believe, was there so true, so delicate a modesty in the
human mind as in that of this lady. And this has been my security all
along; and, in spite of Miss Howe's advice to her, will be so still;
since, if her delicacy be a fault, she can no more overcome it than I can
my aversion to matrimony. Habit, habit, Jack, seest thou not? may
subject us both to weaknesses. And should she not have charity for me,
as I have for her?

Twice indeed with rapture, which once she called rude, did I salute her;
and each time resenting the freedom, did she retire; though, to do her
justice, she favoured me again with her presence at my first entreaty,
and took no notice of the cause of her withdrawing.

Is it policy to show so open a resentment for innocent liberties, which,
in her situation, she must so soon forgive?

Yet the woman who resents not initiatory freedoms must be lost. For love
is an encroacher. Love never goes backward. Love is always aspiring.
Always must aspire. Nothing but the highest act of love can satisfy an
indulged love. And what advantages has a lover, who values not breaking
the peace, over his mistress who is solicitous to keep it!

I have now at this instant wrought myself up, for the dozenth time, to a
half-resolution. A thousand agreeable things I have to say to her. She
is in the dining-room. Just gone up. She always expects me when there.