thirsty, he drinks what will serve him, and no more; and when his belly is
full, ceaseth to eat: but men are immoderate in both, as in lust--they
covet carnal copulation at set times; men always, ruinating thereby the
health of their bodies. And doth it not deserve laughter to see an amorous
fool torment himself for a wench; weep, howl for a misshapen slut, a dowdy
sometimes, that might have his choice of the finest beauties? Is there any
remedy for this in physic? I do anatomise and cut up these poor beasts,
[247]to see these distempers, vanities, and follies, yet such proof were
better made on man's body, if my kind nature would endure it: [248]who from
the hour of his birth is most miserable; weak, and sickly; when he sucks he
is guided by others, when he is grown great practiseth unhappiness [249]and
is sturdy, and when old, a child again, and repenteth him of his life past.
And here being interrupted by one that brought books, he fell to it again,
that all were mad, careless, stupid. To prove my former speeches, look into
courts, or private houses. [250]Judges give judgment according to their own
advantage, doing manifest wrong to poor innocents to please others.
Notaries alter sentences, and for money lose their deeds. Some make false
monies; others counterfeit false weights. Some abuse their parents, yea
corrupt their own sisters; others make long libels and pasquils, defaming
men of good life, and extol such as are lewd and vicious. Some rob one,
some another: [251]magistrates make laws against thieves, and are the
veriest thieves themselves. Some kill themselves, others despair, not
obtaining their desires. Some dance, sing, laugh, feast and banquet, whilst
others sigh, languish, mourn and lament, having neither meat, drink, nor
clothes. [252]Some prank up their bodies, and have their minds full of
execrable vices. Some trot about [253]to bear false witness, and say
anything for money; and though judges know of it, yet for a bribe they wink
at it, and suffer false contracts to prevail against equity. Women are all
day a dressing, to pleasure other men abroad, and go like sluts at home,
not caring to please their own husbands whom they should. Seeing men are so