the _vin blanc_ or _vin rouge_ which, being _compris_, contented the
others, would order himself something of a choice brand. One of his
favourite papers was _Le Rire_, and Henri, Iorson's youthful assistant,
regarded him with admiration.

[Illustration: Malcontent]

A less attractive presence in the dining-room was Madame. Madame, who
was an elderly dame of elephantine girth, had resided in the hotel for
half a dozen years, during which period her sole exercise had been taken
in slowly descending from her chamber in the upper regions for her
meals, and then, leisurely assimilation completed, in yet more slowly
ascending. Madame's allotted seat was placed in close proximity to the
hot-air register; and though Madame was usually one of the first to
enter the dining-room, she was generally the last to leave. Madame's
appetite was as animated as her body was lethargic. She always drank her
half-bottle of red wine to the dregs, and she invariably concluded with
a greengage in brandy. So it was small marvel that, when at last she
left her chair to "tortoise" upstairs, her complexion should be two
shades darker than when she descended.

Five dishes, irrespective of _hors d'oeuvres_ at luncheon, and _potage_
at dinner, were allowed each guest, and Madame's selection was an affair
of time. Our hotel was justly noted for its _cuisine_, yet on infrequent
occasions the food supplied to Madame was not to her mind. At these
times the whole establishment suffered until the irascible old lady's
taste was suited. One night at dinner Iorson had the misfortune to serve
Madame with some turkey that failed to meet with her approval. With the
air of an insulted empress, Madame ordered its removal. The conciliatory
Iorson obediently carried off the dish and speedily returned, bearing